Sad Week

My father passed away on July 19. He had been ill for a while and we could not seem to find out what was wrong with him. The Saturday before I went over to check on him and his blood pressure was really low. I convinced him that we should go to the hospital and he finally agreed. They began running tests and found that he had a fairly large bowel obstruction that looked like cancer. They called in a surgeon who began to talk with us and make plans to do surgery ASAP. His cardiologist was called in because of his weak heart and we felt that we were doing everything that we could to help him. He came through the surgery well and we were so encouraged that he would recover. Then he crashed and the blood pressure dropped again and his heartbeat was irregular and fibrillating. He was put into ICU and again seemed to be recovering. On Friday the 18th they told me that he had responded well to the meds and that they would be moving him to a regular room again either that evening or the next day. At 3 a.m. they called and asked us to come quickly. When we got there he was not conscious and had been put on a respirator. They told us that they thought he may have had a heart attack. His heart had stopped once and they feared that it may happen again. Within 45 minutes he had passed away. It was terrible. Our lives have been upside down since. We took him back to his home town for burial. The whole ordeal has been awful. The death of a parent is too hard. I know that my Mom is so lost now after 61 years of marriage. We are watching her so close and trying to keep her together as we ourselves struggle through the days.

Family and Stress

I created this blog because I wanted to share about children and family. I feel like so far most of my posts have been about my ill parents. This one is going to also be about my Dad. Hopefully soon I will be able to focus on my favorite subject, children.

As I have been posting, my Dad has been very ill for months. We have not quite known why he wasn't getting better and at times felt that he may be prolonging his illness purposely. That, I am glad to say, was not true but it is also a bad thing. On Sat. I went to his house to take his blood pressure and it was dangerously low. I talked him into going to emergency and through the course of the day, they found that he has a bowel obstruction. It is about 4 cm. and appears to be cancer. He is going in for surgery in the morning to have it removed. We are very concerned because he is almost 80, a diabetic and a heart patient. The Dr.'s tell us to be positive and that they believe that it will all be ok. I pray that things work out. My Mom is very worried and I am trying to be the positive person that comforts everyone else. I hope that I believe what I am trying to tell them. I am going to go to bed early and get to the hospital to be with him before surgery. I pray for the best.

Empty Nest

I have loved every stage of my children growing up. My daughter is now 26, married and on her own with her husband. My son is 22, and has moved out with a friend. I knew that my daughter was going to get married and move out so I was prepared and although it was hard, I was still ok. I missed having her here at night when we used to have our heart to heart talks but I wanted her to have a life of her own and be happy. She left in August and they bought a house about 5 minutes from me. I see them often and my daughter and I talk every day, usually several times. My son was a different story. He left at the beginning of January without giving me any preparation time to adjust. He didn't even tell me he was moving until he was gone. It was very hard for me. I feel as though my husband and I were pushed into the empty nest too quickly. We at least have each other to lean on but it is still hard. I don't know why but it is at its worst when I go to the grocery store. I think that my grocery shopping was always revolving around my son because I have a very hard time buying for the two of us. At first it seemed that I was still buying for him and would send most of it home with him. I am getting better now and I am mostly just not doing much shopping. I guess I am wierd but I am having a rough transition. It is nice to spend time with my husband and we have seemed to be able to do more around the house together lately. Maybe it will bring us closer, who knows. I know that I miss my kids and if you have little ones, hug them and know that all that control that you have in their lives right now will end before you know it. I really miss being so important in their lives.

I have heard people talk about the empty nest as a wonderful time but for me, it has been very hard and heartbreaking at times. I am looking forward to the day that I can be more comfortable with it.