Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sick Dad
My Dad is very ill. He has lost a tremendous amount of weight in the past two months, loss of appetite and says he feels full all of the time. My Dad has always been over 200 pounds and is now down in the 170's. I took him to the gastroenterologist and he did tests and sent us to a urologist who did a prostate procedure last Friday. With that came more discomfort but no relief with the stomach problems, constipation, etc. Now we find that he is very anemic and again with labs, etc. We have done a sonogram, CTScan, Xrays, bloodwork and still do not now what is going on. We go back again tomorrow to see if the cardiologist has cleared him for colonoscopy. We are afraid that he may have internal bleeding that is causing the anemia. I am so tired and frustrated that I do not know where to turn. Please say a prayer for my Dad. He is 79 years old but I still need him to be around for a while longer.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Empty Nest
I have loved every stage of my children growing up. My daughter is now 26, married and on her own with her husband. My son is 22, and has moved out with a friend. I knew that my daughter was going to get married and move out so I was prepared and although it was hard, I was still ok. I missed having her here at night when we used to have our heart to heart talks but I wanted her to have a life of her own and be happy. She left in August and they bought a house about 5 minutes from me. I see them often and my daughter and I talk every day, usually several times. My son was a different story. He left at the beginning of January without giving me any preparation time to adjust. He didn't even tell me he was moving until he was gone. It was very hard for me. I feel as though my husband and I were pushed into the empty nest too quickly. We at least have each other to lean on but it is still hard. I don't know why but it is at its worst when I go to the grocery store. I think that my grocery shopping was always revolving around my son because I have a very hard time buying for the two of us. At first it seemed that I was still buying for him and would send most of it home with him. I am getting better now and I am mostly just not doing much shopping. I guess I am wierd but I am having a rough transition. It is nice to spend time with my husband and we have seemed to be able to do more around the house together lately. Maybe it will bring us closer, who knows. I know that I miss my kids and if you have little ones, hug them and know that all that control that you have in their lives right now will end before you know it. I really miss being so important in their lives.
I have heard people talk about the empty nest as a wonderful time but for me, it has been very hard and heartbreaking at times. I am looking forward to the day that I can be more comfortable with it.
I have heard people talk about the empty nest as a wonderful time but for me, it has been very hard and heartbreaking at times. I am looking forward to the day that I can be more comfortable with it.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Transition to a New Preschool
FD has requested this topic as her 3 year old is changing preschools. I hope it helps.
Transition from one preschool to another does not have to be tragic or traumatic. It should be a natural, positive change for the family. It is nice to have an opportunity to allow the child to go to the new preschool to visit before actually staying for the day. The visit should be an adventure. There are very few children who enjoy changing from one school to another. If they have had a negative experience at one preschool they are usually apprehensive about going to another one. If they have had a positive experience at a preschool they usually want to continue going there. It is up to you to present it as a positive move. You as a parent should be very positive and talk about going to the new school before visiting at. The child should not feel that you have made the decision and they have no say or choice in the move. This can cause rebellion and apprehension that you just don’t need.
If time permits, I believe it is good to take the child to the initial visit. During this visit, you will walk with the child and speak with the director of the facility. Pay close attention to how the child is greeted and if he/she responds to the person in charge. I always say that your classroom is as good as the teacher but it is also a huge insight into the way a school is run when you meet the director. Hopefully the director will invite you and child to visit the entire school, not just the classroom that they will be in. This gives a child a feeling of belonging in that they know what all the rooms look like and there is nothing there that they aren’t familiar with to some degree. The child should be introduced to the adults as well as the children in the facility. A sense of belonging is very important. After this visit, it is nice to be able to leave with the child and discuss what you have seen there. You should ask what looks like fun? What is your favorite thing at the new school? What is your least favorite thing? Most three year olds are extremely open and honest about likes and dislikes. It is important to let them talk about it. If there is another parent or close friend or family member available, it is good to let them talk about the school to them as well. Sometimes they will talk to one person more than another. This way you can see how they really feel about going.
If possible, for the first day at a new school, it is important that you do not leave them for a long day. This isn’t always a possibility for working parents but if you can, it can really be beneficial for adjustment. If you can come early to pick the child up and again, talk about everything that has happened today it can really help the child feel that they have some control over what is happening to them. Control is very important to a preschool age child. It also gives you a special relationship with them as you embark upon this new adventure together.
It is normal for them to feel a little apprehension at first. Do not let this discourage you. It is best to leave them with a kiss, hug or whatever you are accustomed to. You must be strong and confident in order to show the child that you feel good about leaving them in this safe place. I call it a “quick get away”. If you hang around and worry about it, you are planting an insecurity seed into the situation and the transition will take longer.
Tell the child what you like about the school. Talk to them about what they like or dislike. Communication is very important. Even if the child does not speak well or wish to discuss much, it is important to talk about the school, the activities, play time, inside, outside, stories, art, etc. Talk, talk, talk.
If you can have a few days to transition, that is great and each day you can leave them a little longer until their day is full. Sometimes you have to jump right in and leave them all day from the start. If that is the case then you just make the best of it and continue to talk to them about school in a very positive way. Reinforce how proud you are that they are old enough, smart enough, perfect enough to go to this wonderful school. You will know your child well enough to know which terms will build their confidence and self esteem.
Some children may need a connection from home. If that is the case, you can give them something from home to put in their pocket. If they are feeling lonely, missing mommy or daddy, they can reach into their pocket and feel it and it will help them feel close to you. Most schools frown on children bringing personal things from home but it can be your little secret. An example might be a rock from the yard at home. You can use markers and make a happy face on the rock if the child wants it. It can rest nicely in the pocket and they can put their hand in and rub it for security. Nobody even has to know that it is there. A picture of the family or family member can also give a child comfort and most schools will not object to a child having a picture in their pocket or bag. You may mention it to the teacher so that she understands what is going on. She will probably appreciate it that you are helping with the transition.
You need to learn the names of the teachers and a few of the children so that you can make the connections to have intelligent and knowing conversations with your child. New schools should be exciting, not scary.
Each child is different and some will give you negative feedback when in reality they are happy with a school. This is a different issue that we can discuss if it comes up but for now, I think if you visit with the child, ;eave him for a short day at first and talk about the school before going, after visiting, and after going each day, you will be on a very good track. Be positive (even if you want to cry).
Children can read you so well. If you are apprehensive or nervous about the new school they will know and they too will feel anxiety. There is no need for this. If you approach it in a positive way and show them that you feel good about it they will also feel good about it.
It is also important to build a positive relationship with your teacher. You can greet them in the mornings and show them that you trust them with your child. A good teacher will recognize your love for your child and try to connect school and home so that your child will transition quickly. A good teacher doesn’t need gifts or over indulgence. They just need to know that you are trusting them with the most precious possession in your life and that you are sharing him/her with them. Common courtesy goes a long way.
The key to a painless transition is communication. Everyone who has anything to do with this transition needs to talk about it. Your peace of mind is your child's peace of mind. Love, learn, talk, laugh and cry together. You will get through it.
Transition from one preschool to another does not have to be tragic or traumatic. It should be a natural, positive change for the family. It is nice to have an opportunity to allow the child to go to the new preschool to visit before actually staying for the day. The visit should be an adventure. There are very few children who enjoy changing from one school to another. If they have had a negative experience at one preschool they are usually apprehensive about going to another one. If they have had a positive experience at a preschool they usually want to continue going there. It is up to you to present it as a positive move. You as a parent should be very positive and talk about going to the new school before visiting at. The child should not feel that you have made the decision and they have no say or choice in the move. This can cause rebellion and apprehension that you just don’t need.
If time permits, I believe it is good to take the child to the initial visit. During this visit, you will walk with the child and speak with the director of the facility. Pay close attention to how the child is greeted and if he/she responds to the person in charge. I always say that your classroom is as good as the teacher but it is also a huge insight into the way a school is run when you meet the director. Hopefully the director will invite you and child to visit the entire school, not just the classroom that they will be in. This gives a child a feeling of belonging in that they know what all the rooms look like and there is nothing there that they aren’t familiar with to some degree. The child should be introduced to the adults as well as the children in the facility. A sense of belonging is very important. After this visit, it is nice to be able to leave with the child and discuss what you have seen there. You should ask what looks like fun? What is your favorite thing at the new school? What is your least favorite thing? Most three year olds are extremely open and honest about likes and dislikes. It is important to let them talk about it. If there is another parent or close friend or family member available, it is good to let them talk about the school to them as well. Sometimes they will talk to one person more than another. This way you can see how they really feel about going.
If possible, for the first day at a new school, it is important that you do not leave them for a long day. This isn’t always a possibility for working parents but if you can, it can really be beneficial for adjustment. If you can come early to pick the child up and again, talk about everything that has happened today it can really help the child feel that they have some control over what is happening to them. Control is very important to a preschool age child. It also gives you a special relationship with them as you embark upon this new adventure together.
It is normal for them to feel a little apprehension at first. Do not let this discourage you. It is best to leave them with a kiss, hug or whatever you are accustomed to. You must be strong and confident in order to show the child that you feel good about leaving them in this safe place. I call it a “quick get away”. If you hang around and worry about it, you are planting an insecurity seed into the situation and the transition will take longer.
Tell the child what you like about the school. Talk to them about what they like or dislike. Communication is very important. Even if the child does not speak well or wish to discuss much, it is important to talk about the school, the activities, play time, inside, outside, stories, art, etc. Talk, talk, talk.
If you can have a few days to transition, that is great and each day you can leave them a little longer until their day is full. Sometimes you have to jump right in and leave them all day from the start. If that is the case then you just make the best of it and continue to talk to them about school in a very positive way. Reinforce how proud you are that they are old enough, smart enough, perfect enough to go to this wonderful school. You will know your child well enough to know which terms will build their confidence and self esteem.
Some children may need a connection from home. If that is the case, you can give them something from home to put in their pocket. If they are feeling lonely, missing mommy or daddy, they can reach into their pocket and feel it and it will help them feel close to you. Most schools frown on children bringing personal things from home but it can be your little secret. An example might be a rock from the yard at home. You can use markers and make a happy face on the rock if the child wants it. It can rest nicely in the pocket and they can put their hand in and rub it for security. Nobody even has to know that it is there. A picture of the family or family member can also give a child comfort and most schools will not object to a child having a picture in their pocket or bag. You may mention it to the teacher so that she understands what is going on. She will probably appreciate it that you are helping with the transition.
You need to learn the names of the teachers and a few of the children so that you can make the connections to have intelligent and knowing conversations with your child. New schools should be exciting, not scary.
Each child is different and some will give you negative feedback when in reality they are happy with a school. This is a different issue that we can discuss if it comes up but for now, I think if you visit with the child, ;eave him for a short day at first and talk about the school before going, after visiting, and after going each day, you will be on a very good track. Be positive (even if you want to cry).
Children can read you so well. If you are apprehensive or nervous about the new school they will know and they too will feel anxiety. There is no need for this. If you approach it in a positive way and show them that you feel good about it they will also feel good about it.
It is also important to build a positive relationship with your teacher. You can greet them in the mornings and show them that you trust them with your child. A good teacher will recognize your love for your child and try to connect school and home so that your child will transition quickly. A good teacher doesn’t need gifts or over indulgence. They just need to know that you are trusting them with the most precious possession in your life and that you are sharing him/her with them. Common courtesy goes a long way.
The key to a painless transition is communication. Everyone who has anything to do with this transition needs to talk about it. Your peace of mind is your child's peace of mind. Love, learn, talk, laugh and cry together. You will get through it.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Blogging again
I created my blog a while back and have never posted again. I didn't really have any readers and didn't know how to get things started so I didn't do anything with it. Fat Doctor, a friend, has a blog that I read daily and she has challenged me to start writing again. I do not feel confident but hopefully it will all open up to me and the readers will come.
I would like to share some views on parenting, child care, home and family. I have worked with children literally all of my life and love the little creatures. I admire and respect their honesty and love of life. I totally detest it when people treat them poorly. I feel that we should all look into ourselves and find that child within and enjoy life more.
Please bear with me while I try to learn how to do this blog. Hopefully I will get the hang of it. Help and suggestions are always appreciated.
I would like to share some views on parenting, child care, home and family. I have worked with children literally all of my life and love the little creatures. I admire and respect their honesty and love of life. I totally detest it when people treat them poorly. I feel that we should all look into ourselves and find that child within and enjoy life more.
Please bear with me while I try to learn how to do this blog. Hopefully I will get the hang of it. Help and suggestions are always appreciated.
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