Enrollment

I am so excited. The calls are coming in and the kids are coming. When I can get the parents to come and visit they always seem to enroll. I just have to get them in there. Today, I enrolled a beautiful 18 month old boy. He came in and immediately started smiling and playing. It was so neat to see him so immediately comfortable in the room. His mom was very happy as well and enrolled him immediately. They are his foster parents and are going through the adoption process that should be finalized next month. It is neat that they have been able to have him with them throughout the process. They recieved him into foster care at 6 months and now plan to keep him for the duration. He seems so happy and well adjusted. This family seems so meant to be. This is my second adoptive family this year so far. Both families seem so ready and eager to take on the challenges of parenthood and very calm. I love to see happy families whether they are biological or adoptive. I love the stories of both. I think that these people that enroll in our school must think that I am very nosey but in reality I just love the kids and want to know where they come from, etc. I love my job.

Start Up Time Again

I am so looking forward to school to start again. As you may know, I am the director of a Parent's Day Out at a local church. We have classes 2 days per week in order to give parents and care givers some time off but mostly to give young children a chance to socialize with others their own age and to be a part of a secure, loving, learning environment. I love being a part of such a wonderful program. We have less than a month to get everything ready for the first day of school. I have the good problem of having some money to spend on the classes this year. We had two deaths in the church and both of them have left us memorial money to enhance our program. I ma so touched by this gesture. I have ordered new awnings for our playground climbing structure and the teachers have given me some idea of what they might like to have in their rooms. We are also getting a new refrigerator for the kitchen. I am very excited. For many years we have run on "hand me downs" and we are getting some new things this year. My problem lies in low enrollment. Our baby and 2 year old classes look good but my 3 and 4 year old classes are very low in enrollment. The city that I am in is offering Pre-K for low income and English as a 2nd Language students and I think that is why I do not have as many 4 year olds. We have an excellent preschool with a wonderful teacher. We have so much to offer and I am struggling with finding the right avenue for advertising. Hopefully they will come at the last minute. I usually have a couple of panic weeks each summer and I think maybe this is it but, yes, I am in panic mode once again. I just want everything to fall into place and be able to relax for a few days before the first day of school. Why is it never easy???

Sad Week

My father passed away on July 19. He had been ill for a while and we could not seem to find out what was wrong with him. The Saturday before I went over to check on him and his blood pressure was really low. I convinced him that we should go to the hospital and he finally agreed. They began running tests and found that he had a fairly large bowel obstruction that looked like cancer. They called in a surgeon who began to talk with us and make plans to do surgery ASAP. His cardiologist was called in because of his weak heart and we felt that we were doing everything that we could to help him. He came through the surgery well and we were so encouraged that he would recover. Then he crashed and the blood pressure dropped again and his heartbeat was irregular and fibrillating. He was put into ICU and again seemed to be recovering. On Friday the 18th they told me that he had responded well to the meds and that they would be moving him to a regular room again either that evening or the next day. At 3 a.m. they called and asked us to come quickly. When we got there he was not conscious and had been put on a respirator. They told us that they thought he may have had a heart attack. His heart had stopped once and they feared that it may happen again. Within 45 minutes he had passed away. It was terrible. Our lives have been upside down since. We took him back to his home town for burial. The whole ordeal has been awful. The death of a parent is too hard. I know that my Mom is so lost now after 61 years of marriage. We are watching her so close and trying to keep her together as we ourselves struggle through the days.

Family and Stress

I created this blog because I wanted to share about children and family. I feel like so far most of my posts have been about my ill parents. This one is going to also be about my Dad. Hopefully soon I will be able to focus on my favorite subject, children.

As I have been posting, my Dad has been very ill for months. We have not quite known why he wasn't getting better and at times felt that he may be prolonging his illness purposely. That, I am glad to say, was not true but it is also a bad thing. On Sat. I went to his house to take his blood pressure and it was dangerously low. I talked him into going to emergency and through the course of the day, they found that he has a bowel obstruction. It is about 4 cm. and appears to be cancer. He is going in for surgery in the morning to have it removed. We are very concerned because he is almost 80, a diabetic and a heart patient. The Dr.'s tell us to be positive and that they believe that it will all be ok. I pray that things work out. My Mom is very worried and I am trying to be the positive person that comforts everyone else. I hope that I believe what I am trying to tell them. I am going to go to bed early and get to the hospital to be with him before surgery. I pray for the best.

What to do????

When there's nothing to do. My Dad as I keep mentioning is in poor health. He has ulcers and is 79 years old and thinks he is just ready to die. He is now refusing to eat. He has lost a tremendous amount of weight and doesn't seem to think that it is making him weak. Yesterday he fell and my 78 year old mother struggled to get him back up. She is sore and tired today. I have instructed her to call 911 next time for help and then to call me and I will come to them. Whether or not she will, I do not know. The Dr. has asked him to accept some in home physical therapy. He has agreed but told my Mom that he is too weak and won't be able to do it so they are wasting their time. I spoke to the Dr. about depression and he put him on meds Friday so maybe they will get in his system in the next couple of weeks and maybe that will help. So far nothing has helped his attitude at all. I am at the end of my rope and do not know what to do. I know he is elderly but I do not see any reason for him to not be able to get better if he will just try. He has never been an easy man but now he is impossible. My poor Mother is there all the time. I am worried about her too. It is a very difficult time right now.

Kindergarten Smells

As posted before, I am the director of a Parent's Day Out at a Presbyterian Church. We are closed for the summer but I am still there quite often to return calls and meet with perspective families. Today I got a call from one of our preschool parents. Their daughter was in our program from the infant room all the way through the preschool class. She is going to Kindergarten in August. Her Mom called today to tell me that she said she couldn't go to Kindergarten after all. When asked why, the little girl told her Mom that it smelled at the big school so she would just come back to our school instead. Apparently our school smells like home but the big school smells funny. Kids are funny. I love it.

Memorial Service

I am attending yet another memorial service tomorrow. I have worked in a church for almost 15 years. During that time I have become very close to many of the members. In the past 3 weeks we have lost 3 members. It is an older congregation but it is heartbreaking to keep losing so many so close together. Tomorrow the memorial service is for a lady that was one of the first that welcomed me to the church back in 1993. She was very outspoken and honest throughout the years. The thing that I liked most about her was that you never had to wonder what she was thinking or how she felt about things. Some people loved her, others didn't. Her ashes will be sprinkled in the garden. It is a peaceful, quiet place. I think it is nice that she wanted her ashes there. She had planned her service from start to finish. She did not wish to burden her family in any way. She will be missed.

Work, work, work

Last Wednesday was the last day with the children at the Parent's Day Out. We all parted with tears of both happiness and sadness. My husband thinks I am nuts because I always come home on the last day of school with red eyes and a headache. He says I should be happy to have a break from the children. I don't think he understands that although a break is nice, I am truly going to miss them and some will be gone forever. I work in a Presbyterian Church and on top of being the Director of PDO, I am also the treasurer so I will still be there a lot this summer. So far this week we have had 2 funerals and numerous illnesses in the church so I feel that I have been there so much more than usual. The secretary and minister are on vacation next week so I will be there a lot next week as well. On top of this my father has been very ill and I need to be with him a lot. Between my parents I will be going to 3 Dr. appointments next week. I also have a home based business for training of child care teachers and directors. It is mostly done through the mail so I can do it at night when it is quiet. I am also trying to pull a seminar together on Shaken Baby Syndrome, SIDS and Infant Brain Development. I cannot find enough hours in the day. This is supposed to be a break but I am feeling so overwhelmed. I love everything that I do and am thankful for that but I need to add at least one more day to the week for about a month. Maybe then I could catch up. I am off to bed to lay there and think about what I didn't get done today. Sleep would be nice but I don't think I have time.

Last Day of Classes

I am the director of a Parent's Day Out program and today is our last day for the school year. We have a fun day planned. We will have a preschool graduation and parties in every class. I am going to buy McDonald's Happy Meals for all of the students today. It is a happy/sad day. We have several students that have been in the program since they were babies and now are going to go to Kindergarten. They and their families have become such a part of the program and have in fact become part of my family. I am hopeful that we will stay in touch and I can follow the progress of the children but it is a harsh reality that I will not hear from them all. The last day is always hard for me. I do not like saying goodbye. I am so fortunate to be able to work in a program like this that I love so much.

Trading Places

I have always heard that people come full circle and the parents that nurtured and raised me would someday become dependent upon me. I didn't think very much of it until the recent illness of my parents. My Mom is improving and my Dad is continuing his negative attitude. He shares it with everyone. I love my Dad very much but he has tested my last nerve in the past few days. Two days ago I had had all that I could take and I told him that he could not call me unless he could think of one positive thing to say. Well, I had no idea that he would take it to heart as he has. It seems that every time he has a bowel movement it is a reason to call me and tell me about it. That is the positive thing that he has chosen to share. Lucky me. I have the deepest respect for my Dad but now I have had to speak to him as if he were my child rather than my parent. I have to remind him that everything will be ok if he will just try to help it along. I have to tell him that we do not ever say "can't" but instead will say "I will try". I am telling him the things that he told me when I was a child. I feel like maybe in some strange way he may be testing me to see if I remember all of the things that he taught me. I do.

Elderly Parents

Oh how it hurts to see someone you love go through pain and discomfort. My parents were always so strong when my brothers and I were growing up. Now at 78 and 79 they are becoming more and more dependent and weak. For the past month my Dad has undergone a prostate procedure and a scope into his stomach to locate problems. He has 10+ ulcers and is having trouble pooping and peeing. As a result he is grumpy, uncomfortable, weak, and in general not well. In the midst of all of this my Mom is recovering from ATypical Pneumonia. I am trying to take care of both of them and keep my sanity and family together at the same time. I am tired. Then they find out that they have a leak in their slab under the house. They are going to have to come and stay at my home for a few days while this gets fixed. (My husband is thrilled...NOT). We will get through this. I know we will. I feel like whining as you can tell but mostly I need to sleep. My needs, however are on hold until some relief comes for my parents. I am also finding out how worthless brothers can be at times like this. I feel like an only child of four. Hopefully the next update will be more upbeat. I just needed to "tell" someone.

Sick Dad

My Dad is very ill. He has lost a tremendous amount of weight in the past two months, loss of appetite and says he feels full all of the time. My Dad has always been over 200 pounds and is now down in the 170's. I took him to the gastroenterologist and he did tests and sent us to a urologist who did a prostate procedure last Friday. With that came more discomfort but no relief with the stomach problems, constipation, etc. Now we find that he is very anemic and again with labs, etc. We have done a sonogram, CTScan, Xrays, bloodwork and still do not now what is going on. We go back again tomorrow to see if the cardiologist has cleared him for colonoscopy. We are afraid that he may have internal bleeding that is causing the anemia. I am so tired and frustrated that I do not know where to turn. Please say a prayer for my Dad. He is 79 years old but I still need him to be around for a while longer.

Empty Nest

I have loved every stage of my children growing up. My daughter is now 26, married and on her own with her husband. My son is 22, and has moved out with a friend. I knew that my daughter was going to get married and move out so I was prepared and although it was hard, I was still ok. I missed having her here at night when we used to have our heart to heart talks but I wanted her to have a life of her own and be happy. She left in August and they bought a house about 5 minutes from me. I see them often and my daughter and I talk every day, usually several times. My son was a different story. He left at the beginning of January without giving me any preparation time to adjust. He didn't even tell me he was moving until he was gone. It was very hard for me. I feel as though my husband and I were pushed into the empty nest too quickly. We at least have each other to lean on but it is still hard. I don't know why but it is at its worst when I go to the grocery store. I think that my grocery shopping was always revolving around my son because I have a very hard time buying for the two of us. At first it seemed that I was still buying for him and would send most of it home with him. I am getting better now and I am mostly just not doing much shopping. I guess I am wierd but I am having a rough transition. It is nice to spend time with my husband and we have seemed to be able to do more around the house together lately. Maybe it will bring us closer, who knows. I know that I miss my kids and if you have little ones, hug them and know that all that control that you have in their lives right now will end before you know it. I really miss being so important in their lives.

I have heard people talk about the empty nest as a wonderful time but for me, it has been very hard and heartbreaking at times. I am looking forward to the day that I can be more comfortable with it.

Transition to a New Preschool

FD has requested this topic as her 3 year old is changing preschools. I hope it helps.

Transition from one preschool to another does not have to be tragic or traumatic. It should be a natural, positive change for the family. It is nice to have an opportunity to allow the child to go to the new preschool to visit before actually staying for the day. The visit should be an adventure. There are very few children who enjoy changing from one school to another. If they have had a negative experience at one preschool they are usually apprehensive about going to another one. If they have had a positive experience at a preschool they usually want to continue going there. It is up to you to present it as a positive move. You as a parent should be very positive and talk about going to the new school before visiting at. The child should not feel that you have made the decision and they have no say or choice in the move. This can cause rebellion and apprehension that you just don’t need.

If time permits, I believe it is good to take the child to the initial visit. During this visit, you will walk with the child and speak with the director of the facility. Pay close attention to how the child is greeted and if he/she responds to the person in charge. I always say that your classroom is as good as the teacher but it is also a huge insight into the way a school is run when you meet the director. Hopefully the director will invite you and child to visit the entire school, not just the classroom that they will be in. This gives a child a feeling of belonging in that they know what all the rooms look like and there is nothing there that they aren’t familiar with to some degree. The child should be introduced to the adults as well as the children in the facility. A sense of belonging is very important. After this visit, it is nice to be able to leave with the child and discuss what you have seen there. You should ask what looks like fun? What is your favorite thing at the new school? What is your least favorite thing? Most three year olds are extremely open and honest about likes and dislikes. It is important to let them talk about it. If there is another parent or close friend or family member available, it is good to let them talk about the school to them as well. Sometimes they will talk to one person more than another. This way you can see how they really feel about going.

If possible, for the first day at a new school, it is important that you do not leave them for a long day. This isn’t always a possibility for working parents but if you can, it can really be beneficial for adjustment. If you can come early to pick the child up and again, talk about everything that has happened today it can really help the child feel that they have some control over what is happening to them. Control is very important to a preschool age child. It also gives you a special relationship with them as you embark upon this new adventure together.

It is normal for them to feel a little apprehension at first. Do not let this discourage you. It is best to leave them with a kiss, hug or whatever you are accustomed to. You must be strong and confident in order to show the child that you feel good about leaving them in this safe place. I call it a “quick get away”. If you hang around and worry about it, you are planting an insecurity seed into the situation and the transition will take longer.

Tell the child what you like about the school. Talk to them about what they like or dislike. Communication is very important. Even if the child does not speak well or wish to discuss much, it is important to talk about the school, the activities, play time, inside, outside, stories, art, etc. Talk, talk, talk.
If you can have a few days to transition, that is great and each day you can leave them a little longer until their day is full. Sometimes you have to jump right in and leave them all day from the start. If that is the case then you just make the best of it and continue to talk to them about school in a very positive way. Reinforce how proud you are that they are old enough, smart enough, perfect enough to go to this wonderful school. You will know your child well enough to know which terms will build their confidence and self esteem.

Some children may need a connection from home. If that is the case, you can give them something from home to put in their pocket. If they are feeling lonely, missing mommy or daddy, they can reach into their pocket and feel it and it will help them feel close to you. Most schools frown on children bringing personal things from home but it can be your little secret. An example might be a rock from the yard at home. You can use markers and make a happy face on the rock if the child wants it. It can rest nicely in the pocket and they can put their hand in and rub it for security. Nobody even has to know that it is there. A picture of the family or family member can also give a child comfort and most schools will not object to a child having a picture in their pocket or bag. You may mention it to the teacher so that she understands what is going on. She will probably appreciate it that you are helping with the transition.

You need to learn the names of the teachers and a few of the children so that you can make the connections to have intelligent and knowing conversations with your child. New schools should be exciting, not scary.

Each child is different and some will give you negative feedback when in reality they are happy with a school. This is a different issue that we can discuss if it comes up but for now, I think if you visit with the child, ;eave him for a short day at first and talk about the school before going, after visiting, and after going each day, you will be on a very good track. Be positive (even if you want to cry).

Children can read you so well. If you are apprehensive or nervous about the new school they will know and they too will feel anxiety. There is no need for this. If you approach it in a positive way and show them that you feel good about it they will also feel good about it.

It is also important to build a positive relationship with your teacher. You can greet them in the mornings and show them that you trust them with your child. A good teacher will recognize your love for your child and try to connect school and home so that your child will transition quickly. A good teacher doesn’t need gifts or over indulgence. They just need to know that you are trusting them with the most precious possession in your life and that you are sharing him/her with them. Common courtesy goes a long way.

The key to a painless transition is communication. Everyone who has anything to do with this transition needs to talk about it. Your peace of mind is your child's peace of mind. Love, learn, talk, laugh and cry together. You will get through it.

Blogging again

I created my blog a while back and have never posted again. I didn't really have any readers and didn't know how to get things started so I didn't do anything with it. Fat Doctor, a friend, has a blog that I read daily and she has challenged me to start writing again. I do not feel confident but hopefully it will all open up to me and the readers will come.

I would like to share some views on parenting, child care, home and family. I have worked with children literally all of my life and love the little creatures. I admire and respect their honesty and love of life. I totally detest it when people treat them poorly. I feel that we should all look into ourselves and find that child within and enjoy life more.

Please bear with me while I try to learn how to do this blog. Hopefully I will get the hang of it. Help and suggestions are always appreciated.