What to do????

When there's nothing to do. My Dad as I keep mentioning is in poor health. He has ulcers and is 79 years old and thinks he is just ready to die. He is now refusing to eat. He has lost a tremendous amount of weight and doesn't seem to think that it is making him weak. Yesterday he fell and my 78 year old mother struggled to get him back up. She is sore and tired today. I have instructed her to call 911 next time for help and then to call me and I will come to them. Whether or not she will, I do not know. The Dr. has asked him to accept some in home physical therapy. He has agreed but told my Mom that he is too weak and won't be able to do it so they are wasting their time. I spoke to the Dr. about depression and he put him on meds Friday so maybe they will get in his system in the next couple of weeks and maybe that will help. So far nothing has helped his attitude at all. I am at the end of my rope and do not know what to do. I know he is elderly but I do not see any reason for him to not be able to get better if he will just try. He has never been an easy man but now he is impossible. My poor Mother is there all the time. I am worried about her too. It is a very difficult time right now.

Kindergarten Smells

As posted before, I am the director of a Parent's Day Out at a Presbyterian Church. We are closed for the summer but I am still there quite often to return calls and meet with perspective families. Today I got a call from one of our preschool parents. Their daughter was in our program from the infant room all the way through the preschool class. She is going to Kindergarten in August. Her Mom called today to tell me that she said she couldn't go to Kindergarten after all. When asked why, the little girl told her Mom that it smelled at the big school so she would just come back to our school instead. Apparently our school smells like home but the big school smells funny. Kids are funny. I love it.

Memorial Service

I am attending yet another memorial service tomorrow. I have worked in a church for almost 15 years. During that time I have become very close to many of the members. In the past 3 weeks we have lost 3 members. It is an older congregation but it is heartbreaking to keep losing so many so close together. Tomorrow the memorial service is for a lady that was one of the first that welcomed me to the church back in 1993. She was very outspoken and honest throughout the years. The thing that I liked most about her was that you never had to wonder what she was thinking or how she felt about things. Some people loved her, others didn't. Her ashes will be sprinkled in the garden. It is a peaceful, quiet place. I think it is nice that she wanted her ashes there. She had planned her service from start to finish. She did not wish to burden her family in any way. She will be missed.

Work, work, work

Last Wednesday was the last day with the children at the Parent's Day Out. We all parted with tears of both happiness and sadness. My husband thinks I am nuts because I always come home on the last day of school with red eyes and a headache. He says I should be happy to have a break from the children. I don't think he understands that although a break is nice, I am truly going to miss them and some will be gone forever. I work in a Presbyterian Church and on top of being the Director of PDO, I am also the treasurer so I will still be there a lot this summer. So far this week we have had 2 funerals and numerous illnesses in the church so I feel that I have been there so much more than usual. The secretary and minister are on vacation next week so I will be there a lot next week as well. On top of this my father has been very ill and I need to be with him a lot. Between my parents I will be going to 3 Dr. appointments next week. I also have a home based business for training of child care teachers and directors. It is mostly done through the mail so I can do it at night when it is quiet. I am also trying to pull a seminar together on Shaken Baby Syndrome, SIDS and Infant Brain Development. I cannot find enough hours in the day. This is supposed to be a break but I am feeling so overwhelmed. I love everything that I do and am thankful for that but I need to add at least one more day to the week for about a month. Maybe then I could catch up. I am off to bed to lay there and think about what I didn't get done today. Sleep would be nice but I don't think I have time.

Last Day of Classes

I am the director of a Parent's Day Out program and today is our last day for the school year. We have a fun day planned. We will have a preschool graduation and parties in every class. I am going to buy McDonald's Happy Meals for all of the students today. It is a happy/sad day. We have several students that have been in the program since they were babies and now are going to go to Kindergarten. They and their families have become such a part of the program and have in fact become part of my family. I am hopeful that we will stay in touch and I can follow the progress of the children but it is a harsh reality that I will not hear from them all. The last day is always hard for me. I do not like saying goodbye. I am so fortunate to be able to work in a program like this that I love so much.

Trading Places

I have always heard that people come full circle and the parents that nurtured and raised me would someday become dependent upon me. I didn't think very much of it until the recent illness of my parents. My Mom is improving and my Dad is continuing his negative attitude. He shares it with everyone. I love my Dad very much but he has tested my last nerve in the past few days. Two days ago I had had all that I could take and I told him that he could not call me unless he could think of one positive thing to say. Well, I had no idea that he would take it to heart as he has. It seems that every time he has a bowel movement it is a reason to call me and tell me about it. That is the positive thing that he has chosen to share. Lucky me. I have the deepest respect for my Dad but now I have had to speak to him as if he were my child rather than my parent. I have to remind him that everything will be ok if he will just try to help it along. I have to tell him that we do not ever say "can't" but instead will say "I will try". I am telling him the things that he told me when I was a child. I feel like maybe in some strange way he may be testing me to see if I remember all of the things that he taught me. I do.

Elderly Parents

Oh how it hurts to see someone you love go through pain and discomfort. My parents were always so strong when my brothers and I were growing up. Now at 78 and 79 they are becoming more and more dependent and weak. For the past month my Dad has undergone a prostate procedure and a scope into his stomach to locate problems. He has 10+ ulcers and is having trouble pooping and peeing. As a result he is grumpy, uncomfortable, weak, and in general not well. In the midst of all of this my Mom is recovering from ATypical Pneumonia. I am trying to take care of both of them and keep my sanity and family together at the same time. I am tired. Then they find out that they have a leak in their slab under the house. They are going to have to come and stay at my home for a few days while this gets fixed. (My husband is thrilled...NOT). We will get through this. I know we will. I feel like whining as you can tell but mostly I need to sleep. My needs, however are on hold until some relief comes for my parents. I am also finding out how worthless brothers can be at times like this. I feel like an only child of four. Hopefully the next update will be more upbeat. I just needed to "tell" someone.